This Retirement Thing Has Knobs On It

Knobs, as opposed to buttons. Some retirements have calibrated dials and vacuum tubes that need to warm up before they work - that is why retirees rarely start to really move before 9:00 in the morning. ( Except for the ones who have a front porch overlooking the freeway and they like to sit out with a cup of tea, watch the traffic jams, and laugh... The good thing about having knobs, dials, and the occasional bell on your retirement is you can operate them to your heart's content. And if they are on a camera, so much the better. Retirement from the workforce is a mere wrinkle in the page of life - you still have so much more space to write uopn - and you can fill the future years with photos as well. Before you get the gold watch, fountain pen, and kicked out the door, assess what your photographic needs are going to be for the next five years ( Five Year Plan, Comrade ). If you know exactly what you are going to do and where you are going to go, buy the exact gear that you will need for it now - while you still have money. Resign yourself to the fact that a minute after you buy the latest camera and lens, DP Review will announce the successor model - this is the way the world works. If you do not know what you are going to do with yourself, buy something that you have never had before. If up until now you have been a still shooter - buy a video camera. Or go the other way if you've always been the video pest at the family party. There is a new world out there to conquer and you'll already have enough skills to get started - but the delightful thing will be the vast new field of knowledge that you'll encounter. If you are retiring with all the money in the treasury, consider finally getting that prestige camera outfit that you have seen advertised. It won't stop you from getting wrinkles but with that kind of buying power people will regard them as distinguished...and you really will have the best possible camera outfit. Then take the outfit for holidays - even if you are creaky and cranky, the prestige camera equipment will enjoy the outing. If you are on a more modest budget, consider just a few accessories for the gear you already have. If you are a regular reader of this column you already have all the gear you really need but that need not stop you from geting more. Just get the lightweight stuff...no sense aggravating the knees hauling heavy packs of gear. Again, go travelling with the camera and shoot like mad. If you are going to miss the cheerful banter and camaraderie of the coal-face, consider joining a photographic society or club. Lots of the members will be in your position and that means they'll have free time to go on photo expeditions as well - and at times and in places that the office-bound cannot go to. You can all sit on the front porch during rush hour and laugh. But it's cruel to mock the afflicted, so don't play crash-bingo.