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There are two photographers who have it taped - who will be able to succeed with any assignment, any project, any inspiration. They are:
a. The person who has every single lens ever made for their camera.
b. The person who has only one lens.
Everyone else will be wallowing in a sea of indecision and angst - our two stars will be cool and confident:
a. The optik-meister can call on the exact lens - from their 5 acre climate controlled warehouse - to deal with any image. The perfect focal length to match the angle of view - the perfect aperture to capture just enough sharpness - the perfect focusing system to hit the exact plane that they want. No compromises - no half measures. If the image needs an 89.5 mm lens with an f:1:1.7 1/2 aperture it is there on the shelf - a bespoke one-off masterpiece grown on the south slopes of the Ruhr valley under a full moon.
Just clip off the kit lens and snap on perfection. If the subject moves or the light changes, send the valet for the 95.4 mm version with the sapphire laser AF button.
b. The singleton's lens on the camera has a rime of verdigis around it because it has never actually been taken off. We presume it would turn if you put a pipe wrench on it but no-one has been game to try. There has never been a need.
Subject too close? Lean back. Subject too far away? Lean forward. Too dark? ISO to the max and whack the exposure slider to the right as far as it will go. Too bright? Do the reverse. You want a fuzzy bokeh? Stand your portrait subject in front of a shelf full of kittens. A sharp backdrop? Echidnas.
This photography game is easy, eh?
The cynical amongst the readership may see flaws in these approaches, but that is just the effect of propaganda from the trade. They want you to buy more lenses. If you don't they will stack up in the warehouse and no-one will be able to get in the door.
In a way, you can be sympathetic with this. The basic thing that photography is - apart from the pinhole dodge - is light passing through a glass lens. Or a plastic one, if you use some of the cheaper film cameras. It is all in an effort to do what your eye does but to send money to the camera makers as it does so. By and large it is successful, or you wouldn't be reading this column now. And we all need to do what we can to keep the cart rolling.
What of One-Lens Charley or Charlene? Well they may not be helping to pump out the lens mines but they are definitely candidates for computer hardware and software. Their images often end up needing all the help they can mouse into them and if you are prepared to see this as good thing, Adobe and everyone else are prepared to agree with you - in some cases upon a subscription basis.
In both cases the shooters will undergo learning curves - one out in the field as they try to figure out which lens to bolt on next and the other in the computer den trying to find the slider that makes the picture look good.
Am I either of these people? No - I have more than one lens but less than 150. I frequently do get the right focal length, aperture, and shutter speed, though sometimes not at the same time on the same image. And I have a strict rule not to spend more than 20 minutes at the computer trying to compensate for my image follies - I have a plug-in program that makes anything art and as soon as I can afford the program that automatically writes up applications for government grants I should be set for life.
